Artist’s Statement

4/42 FRONT & BACK, 2009

I was once 4. At the time, I posed for a portrait in a formal studio. 2 pigtails. Red and black plaid flannel boys’ shirt. A smirk. I always liked that photo. I didn’t smile to please the photographer. I came in with an attitude. I already somehow knew he’d try to get me to do something he thought was the right way for a girl to be in a picture. I held my own.

I was once 42. At the time I posed for myself. I chose to emulate iconic archeological female fragments from ancient Babylonian and Greek sculptures for a larger composite. I didn’t smile nor did I need to. The images were all shot from behind. I put my Leica on the tripod, set the timer, zipped to the black velvet curtain I used as a backdrop, faced away from the camera and click! I stood still.

One day, I came across the small photograph of me at 4. I somehow wanted to merge with that girl. I liked who she was a lot better than I liked myself at 42. I always envied her sense of confidence, fortitude, and independent spirit. Somehow, in the 39 years in between, so much of her had disappeared.

In a momentary act of cheekiness, I decided to quickly doppleganger it. I dug out the envelope that said ‘Female Fragments/Toss’ and pulled out a reject. Within a few minutes and a squirt of archival glue, I found myself facing her. Now, if she only rubbed off.